We can all get hurt.
What happens when we are hurt?
In its purest state we feel pain, maybe sadness, maybe we want to cry.
But this state is often skipped and we go directly to anger and the feeling of being unfairly treated.
The anger can healthily result in changing the circumstances, maybe leaving a situation etc. – to take good care of ourselves.
Yet often another step follows which has pretty harmful consequences for us and others:
The alleged right for revenge because we are so hurt.
The self-declared right for revenge allows pretty much everything – because we are hurt.
Our pain of when we were hurt is used to serve a completely different act – spreading aggression.
Where do we take that right from? Do we have a right for revenge?
Nobody has a right for revenge.
Revenge is so to say the misguided feeling of being hurt.
It is in our responsibility to take care of the primary emotion – the pain.
Then we can act with awareness, as grown-ups. Not before.
Why is it so easy to gain that right for revenge?
We play the judge. Like a little child we go mad and throw stones – if we are not healthily understood and limited by our parents. To set limits in a healthy way is not of course.
If we feel that right for revenge, we actually act as little children – without limits.
Self-righteousness develops and the war begins.
Maybe instead of revenge we should do something else.
Forgive ourselves that we brought us into this situation maybe.
In Hawai exists an old traditional practice for reconciliation and forgiveness called “Ho’oponopono”.
A mantra which was developed in the last century which goes back to the original practice includes four steps, saying:
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
It is used for any communication trouble, and refers to the idea that we are all connected.
Energy is as in physical terms not vanishing, it only transforms.
The very important aspect is that this is not meant as a way to stretch our generousness or to feel guilt but to free ourselves.
It is a kind of collective Forgiving, in order to let go of the anger and pain.
Truly – when we prefer to hate, we are actually carrying the one who we hate permanently with us around and harm ourselves with it.
I can also say “I forgive you”, if I don’t mean my personal “I” but the world with the “I”, knowing that the person who hates was once hurt by other human beings. And all human beings are connected – we are connected through being human. It implies the idea that our human energy never gets lost – it is up to us how we use it. In a way the “Please forgive me” can be seen as a spiritual step of taking responsibility for us humans.
Forgiveness leads to real letting go and reliefs.
Maybe we can heal through forgiving – for me absolutely worth a try!